


Drifting at Sea

by darkangel_silvermoon



Category: Drifting at Sea
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel_silvermoon/pseuds/darkangel_silvermoon
Summary: Contact with another body; the warmth, the stability, the suggestion of safety wrapped around you. It grounds you to reality. Yeah, sometimes only a hug will do.





	1. Chapter 1

**"A hug is the perfect gift; one size fits all, and nobody minds if you exchange it."- _unknown_**

He looks up to catch sight of a translucent man; sunken eyed and sallow with a shock of hair being ruffled by the wind.

He's skeletal; eyes vacant and cold.

The bus moves and then he's gone.

Reid shutters when the realization hits him.

That ghost is him.

He looks around, watching the people pass by- some together, some alone.

Mothers, daughters, sons, girlfriends, boyfriends, business partners, strangers- all going about their daily lives,

And there's Reid.

The sickly feeling of disgust for human beings descends upon him as dirt and paper scuttle along the pavement like side-winding crabs.

He swallows the bile that rises, his teeth clenching in discomfort as he balls his fist.

He should not be feeling this way, should he?

But then he realizes it's not them that he feels this disheartening disdain for- but himself.

He shivers as he sinks further into his head.

There's no way out, none that he can see.

And the world keeps revolving on it's tilted axis, and people are still going on with their lives, and unsubs are still killing and the most horrible things are happening.

And there's Reid.

His head buzzes, and it suspiciously sounds like Morgan's ring tone.

Reid looks down, and is vaguely aware that his cell phone is buzzing in his satchel.

His hands feel numb as he reaches for the phone; detached as he answers- his voice reverberates hollow and dull in his own ears.

"Pretty Boy- you okay?" Morgan's voice is sharp, and Reid can recognize the fear seeping out.

How many times has Reid rang Morgan in the most unfortunate hours sounding as if he were on the cusp of doing some harm to himself?

Shame fills Reid. Too much to bear, he disconnects the phone and stares at the lifeless thing in his hand.

The sad thing is, out of  twenty-five people that have passed him (three who are standing in the bus' shelter with him) not one has asked if he's alright. Not that he would have welcomed the attention, but still...there's something inherently sad about that picture.

And still, there's Reid.

He looks up to see his bus shutter past him, and his insides sink.

Today's a good day for walking.

And so he does; hoisting his lead body off the bench, he begins to trudge his way home.

His heart hammers sluggishly against his ribcage, ready to give up and he can't seem to catch his breath as people keep touching him- the effort it would take to avoid the contact is just too much at the moment.

And so there's Reid; each step a struggle, each breath hurts so much.

He'd love to sink to the cold concrete and cry.

He can't help but think 'maybe this is what it's like to go insane.'

And he doesn't know how to pull himself out.

The sound of rubber wheels griping asphalt registers in his ears; a powered window going down, the gruff anxiousness of Morgan's voice.

"Pretty Boy? Get in."

And there are the hacking sobs of Reid's that barely reach his head, let alone connect with him that this is him.

 This is the broken shell of him. And he can't fix it by himself.

There's Reid, sinking against the door of Morgan's suv, and Morgan's door slamming as people honk for him to get out of the way.

  
Morgan sinks to his knees, enveloping Reid in the tightest of hugs.

Reid's not going to even try to comprehend how Morgan found him as he presses his face into Morgan's shoulder, biting down on the soft fabric of Morgan's t-shirt, saliva soaking it's way through as Reid bites back sobs.

His body is racked in pain as he hold back the sobs that threaten to rip his chest in two.

"Let it go Reid. Let it go." Morgan whispers in Reid's ear as people mill past them.

Some gawk, others tip toe in their own embarrassment of witnessing such display of emotion.

And the world keeps spinning on its tilted axis and then there's Reid and Morgan trying to right the wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Morgan cradles Reid's body as he lifts him.

Reid twists his fingers in Morgan's shirt, as he gets the door open and places him in the car.

Morgan squeezes Reid's hand and he buckles Reid up. Reid sniffles and rolls onto his side, resting his head on the door frame. Morgan shut the door and makes his way to the drivers side- buckling himself in as well.

"How did you find me?" Reid croaks as he clenches his eyes shut, trying to distract himself from the hurt.

Morgan huffs through his nose as he lets the keys dangle in the ignition.

"Baby Girl helped me. Reid, you scared the fuck outta me." Morgan's voice is exposed...soft.

Reid's body scrunches in the seat tighter than before.

He didn't mean to. It always seems that he's affecting someone else.

"Reid, look at me?" Morgan touches Reid's shoulder. Reid shivers as he pulls his head off the window.

He blinks, eyes puffy and sore. He turns to face Morgan.

"I-" his breath hitches. 

"I'm sorry. I must look-" Reid tries to find words any words to explain.

"Kid, it's okay, take your time." Morgan rubs a small circle in back of his hand.  Reid wants to pull away, but he kind of needs the contact, the warmth.

"Morgan, I feel...empty and I don't know why." Reid whispers as he shivers harder.

"Lets get you home, and then we'll talk. Is that alright with you kid?" Morgan asks Reid. Reid nods slowly, pressing himself against the glass again.

How is it that the sun is shining and there are birds chirping and Reid feels this heavy, this dark?

Breathe in, breathe out, and in again.

Reid's chest rises and falls evenly as he tries to shut his brain down. Just think about the breath.

Breathe.

And Morgan drives, leaning over to turn down the radio- trance music spilling in the car.

Reid closes his eyes, loosing himself in the rise and fall of the beat, imagining it's the bass that's taking over his body, not this sucking void instead.

And the buildings like birds coming home to roost sit in crooked rows, and the people mill around like busy ants- tripping and stumbling through life.

And Reid's focusing on his breath and the shifting beat encircling him. And Morgan's gripping the wheel just a little too tight. And Morgan's focused on the road, trying to make it back to Reid's place so he can figure out what the hell's going on inside head, because he can't stand to see Reid like this – oh so introverted and not so bubbly.

  
Morgan wants to squeeze Reid so tight that neither of them can catch a breath and all of this darkness hanging over them like death's cloak can dissipate.

This is what friends are for, kissing away the hurt.

That's what Morgan's for if he'll let him be.


	3. Chapter 3

Birds flit from roof tops to tree and back again.

Morgan can't help but feel a twinge of unease settle in the pit of his stomach.

Reid's eyes have a vacant gloss as he shivers in the sunlight.

Morgan steers him to the door and takes out the key Reid had given to him, way back when he was struggling to stay clean.

The apartment's dark, curtains drawn- Morgan and Reid fumble their way inside.  

Morgan never looses his grip of Reid's arm.

Reid follows as Morgan strips their shoes.

Morgan's heart flips at the sight of tiny black hearts on a gray sock and a maroon and black stripped on the other.

He's always wondered where he'd managed to find these things. But that's besides the point as he divests himself of his shoes as well.

They pad their way to the living room.

Morgan's been here before, and it's kind of comforting- the light struggling to make it's way in.

Morgan sits Reid down on the couch, and Reid lay his head on Morgan's lap, pressing Morgan's hand to his face- warm and splotched with heat.

Morgan's fingers automatically move from the base of Reid's neck and through the soft tendrils curling around his finger. Reid shifts to his side, facing Morgan's stomach as he gets lost in the comfort Morgan's hands can bring with the simplest of touch.

Morgan waits, loving how good it feels to have the tension leak from Reid's body.

"Morgan?" Reid looks up at Morgan.

His hands never still.

"Yeah pretty boy?"

"You know you're considered to be one of my closest friends, right?" Reid picks at a loose thread on Morgan's shirt.

Morgan studies the side of Reid's face as it draws into a painful mask.

Morgan wants to smooth the creases from Reid's face.

He wants to see Reid light up into a smile, body and all glowing like it usually does.

His fingers rest over Reid's pulse beat in his neck, Morgan's buzzing with worry as he waits.

Reid closes his eyes again.

"I almost picked up again." His voice no more than an hoarse whisper as his body trembles.

"It keeps flooding back and I-" Reid's shoulders hitch into another spasming sob.

"I'm not strong enough to take this. I can't-" His body collapses on itself as he twists with the pain, gripping Morgan's t-shirt with sweaty hands.

Morgan jerks Reid's body up, stunned himself with the physical force of Reid's shame.

"Shh... Reid. It's going to be okay!" He buries his face in the crook of Reid's neck as he wraps his arms tight around Reid's trembling frame.

It's going to be fine.

"You're okay, Kid. It's okay. You're not weak. You're not weak." Morgan's voice sounds so weak compared to Reid's keens.

Reid squeaks as Morgan's hand snakes under Reid's button down, past his t-shirt- his warm hand splays on Reid's hip...and Reid stops. Breathing. His body slumps against Morgan.

It's what he needed-skin on skin as he drifts off to sea.

"I'm not weak. I didn't use." Reid murmurs.

"No. You wouldn't  be weak even if you did." Morgan brings Reid's hand up, pressing his lips against Reid's clenched fist.

"I-I thought of you and I couldn't..." Reid blinks up, looking at Morgan.

Morgan presses his lips to Reid's temple, a feather touch that makes Reid's skin flush with more heat.

"I'm sorry." His voice is strained as burrows deeper into Morgan's touch.

Morgan squeezes Reid's hip in reassurance.

"It's okay Pretty Boy." Morgan murmurs, and Reid is calmed by the low rumble in Morgan's chest.

Breathe, breathe, all it takes is a breath.

Reid stills as Morgan takes in a deep breathe- smelling the cloying smell of sweat and coffee after-shave and sweetness fill his nose.

He shuts his eyes, listening for Reid's heart beat- the world's still spinning on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the original this story had comfort smut. Should I post it? First five comments get to decide. Let me hear your thinky thoughts.


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